“But how can you get married to a stranger?” , “Do couples in arranged marriage actually fall in love?”, “Are you guys even compatible?”, oh the never ending list of questions!
The concept of arrange marriage is frowned upon and seems a forced one for most of the contemporary world. In South Asian countries like India when your kids reach a marriageable age, parents use matrimony agencies or put a word in their network through their friends and family, to find a suitor for their children. Once the perspective match is found, their horoscopes are checked to see if they match (if at all they believe in it). If it does, then the groom’s family visits the bride’s family. If both the families find the match suitable, then the wedding is fixed. This is how a typical arrange marriage takes place.
Mind you, arranged marriages aren’t always a knife to the throat kinda union. You do have a chance to vent out your opinion, maybe not always! But hey, the times are changing. Moreover, in most cases no one is forcing you to marry the very first person you meet, unless you think he/she is the right person for you, if not the process repeats again until you find the right person.
Technically speaking all marriages are arranged marriages, basically arranged by someone. Be it a matrimony site, a dating app, your friends or family, someone’s arranged it for you to meet your future partner. Although in arranged marriages, the start maybe different but the journey is totally dependent on the two individuals. Mine is an arranged marriage as well , haven’t regretted a moment of almost four years of married life.
I met my husband through my parents, when one of dad’s friends suggested there was a suitable match. By then, I had already met a couple of guys, but none of them felt right for me. I am not someone who believes in love at first sight, so when I first saw my husband I was like ” Okay, He is handsome! But what next?”. At that point of time, neither of us were sure of one another. We took a chance, got to know each others interests, likes and dislikes. After around a six months of courtship period we got married.
Did we have problems adjusting initially? Yes. It’s not a cakewalk to live with someone you knew for a very brief time.
Was it easy functioning as a couple? No and Yes. No, because it involved major rethinking. Yes, as I had him all along , it feels great to have someone by your side in your joys and sorrows.
Would it make any difference if we had met in a different way, say a restaurant or a bar? No.
Our start was just a start. The real test lies in our efforts of understanding and prosper, how you hold on to each other to seek comfort and offer support. Initially we both had our share of differences than the similarities. But it only meant we both have more likes to explore. Life is so enriching when you see it through different perspectives.
My experience with arranged marriage so far has been a gift wrapped with blessings. Love in all its forms, has always been a part of it. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if it is an arranged or love approach, both need the same level of commitment. What matters is how the couple understand each other and treasure their relationship.