How Much Attention Is Normal?

It is okay to be needy in romantic relationships. Having a need for consistent connection with your partner is actually a sign of emotional maturity.

Let’s talk facts, marriages are hard. It requires lots of patience, commitment and dedication for any relationship to last a lifetime. One needs to put in lots of effort there. In the initial stages, when everything is exciting and new, we tend to give each other lots of time and attention. But as the relationship progresses we tend to neglect each other’s needs and take them for granted, thus living under the illusion that our partner will always be a constant in our life, regardless of how we treat them. Amidst the myriad demands of our hectic daily lives, we fail to give the attention our partners really deserve.

Attention is the most basic expression of love. It is how we nurture and grow, what we need and crave. Without attention no matter how strong a relationship, it sinks. Not getting enough attention can often equate to not feeling loved or desired. Of course, who doesn’t crave some affection now and then, it’s only natural! Being attentive is really important in a romantic relationship, and some people require more attention than others(hey, not guilty about it).

If one partner is not getting enough attention from another, it can cause a chain of reactions and even lead to bigger conflicts in the relationship. Lack of attention in a relationship is the same as a lack of communication. So many of us these days have mistaken brief text messages for substantive attention. In this age of technology, our attention has been hijacked by smartphones, laptops and iPads. As a result, we seem to have little time for each other; our attention aims elsewhere. It is high time we put aside our smart devices and deliver eye contact with an authentic presence.

Here are some of the little things you can do to give your partner the attention they deserve.

  1. Give your phone a break when your partner is talking to you or when you are at a dining table. Instead, talk to them about your day and ask them about theirs.
  2. Amidst your busy schedule take a time off every now and then, watch your partner’s favourite movie/ tv show, or go on a shopping and dinner date.
  3. Make it a habit to appreciate the little things they do for you. Compliment your partner often.
  4. Remember the dates of important events in your lives and surprise your partner with special something. Go on those romantic long drives.
  5. Cultivate a hobby that both of you can do together.

Always remember, one should give importance to the partner as much as it is required or maybe more but not more than oneself. We always tend to lose ourselves by giving total importance and priority to the partner, which is not so good either. So never forget to put yourself first.

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